Rebellion, drugs and getting high for Indigo’s

I recently had my 16 year old niece get caught with syringes and cocaine, and land in a drug rehab facility. Naturally, her parents, my family, is upset, and rightly wants to try to get her off the drugs and get her onto a positive direction in her life.

The issue is not their fault, though of course there are many ways in which my brother and his wife blame themselves, and certainly many ways that they could have been more skillful in their parenting

But nor is the issue my niece’s fault. I understand her rebellion and her desire for drugs. They are the lower manifestation of the acting out of certain Indigo characteristics.

First on the rebellion side – as an Indigo there is a sense of often strangulation against the asphyxiating feeling of the tightness of what we call the world matrix. By the world matrix we mean that there’s a web of energy that we exist in. It’s for example, if you walk into a house you have the feeling of the atmosphere in the house. Well that’s a small, local matrix. That house sits in a neighborhood. That’s a little larger matrix, which sits in a city – a larger matrix, which sits in a county, a little larger matrix yet, etc.

So when we refer to the matrix we’re referring to both small and large energetic webs that we exist within. Indigo’s are sensitive to the matrix. They feel its controls, it’s density, the way that it captures us into behaving into certain socially acceptable ways that diminish authenticity and aliveness.

Indigo’s fight against it. But because often times, they don’t know what they’re fighting against particularly, and the way that the matrix is holding them, they react in rebellion, in just a basic fuck you, I’ll do it different, I’ll do it my way, I want out of here.

And as many Indigo’s are quite volatile and fiery, that reaction can be extreme, especially in the teen years of acting out in aggression and rebellion, in any sort of even self-destructive behavior as a way of saying, “You won’t get me”.

So in that regards, the message I would like to communicate to Indigo’s is to see more clearly what you are rebelling against. Be more alert to it. Define it. Is it control energies, is it ways that you are being manipulated, is it things that want to define you and make you behave in certain ways.

So look, take note, in the ways the matrix limits you.

Second thing, is your need and desire for freedom is right. But it’s not going to come about in rebellion against. We have three levels of freedom. We walk about freedom against, freedom for, and then just pure freedom.

Freedom against is the lowest, it’s just reaction. I’m against this, against that. It’s a necessary and important kind of freedom. But it’s also very reactive. And often times we just kick and fight against, “the system, the family, the school or the society”.

The second kind of freedom is freedom for. It is coming from vision. This is where the qualities of your third eye really begin to shine. You do see, you do carry a positive vision of possibilities. So if you feel the matrix is restrictive in a certain way, now look deeper. What could it be? How could things be better? What might it look like? How could people behave? How could the society be structured? How would that particular environment carry a higher vibration, a more beautiful way of living and being.

This is one of your most important traits and one of your most important purposes as an Indigo. It is to see the possible. Instead of just seeing negative and just reacting. Or not even seeing but just feeling and being in reaction, seeing what is bothering you and then see what it can be. Look more closely at people. How are people behaving? What in their psyche is restrictive or “old school”, or destructive somehow to life? And then where could they be? What do they contain that is of beautify that could be opened?

So vision of the positive – freedom for, is an essential characteristic.

The third level of freedom is ultimately the most important. It is the freedom of being oneself. Freedom of what we call Being – in which your essence, your very nature, is free. This is an internal form of freedom, not an external form of freedom, though it has many effects on your external life as well. It’s internal form of freedom in that you are free from the limits that are inherent within your own psyche. You are free from your own small mind. You are free from your own reactive emotions. You are free for the aliveness, the intelligence, the wisdom, the spontaneity, the insight, the love, the passion, and the vision that you hold.

In India they have a name for this kind of freedom. They call it Moksha. Moksha means liberation. It means the ultimate freedom, the pure consciousness, the freedom of pure being. We are free from the limits of what we call the lower self – with all its fears and controls and small desires and petty reactions. We are free to open the wings of our soul, our spirit to the immensity of consciousness, of love and power and creativity that is in us. That is the real freedom, that is the real liberation, the real Moksha.

And this gets us to the second issue of drugs. Look at the term that’s used in conjunction with drugs – getting high. We don’t’ ever refer to the term, getting low. We say getting high. Well, what do we mean by high? In the psyche, as seen through the world of energy, we see that there are lower vibration and higher vibrations. Anger has a lower vibration than love. Intelligence has a higher vibration than stupidity. And you can feel it. Feel the people around you. Feel yourself. You can tell when you’re vibrating lower or higher.

So in a sense getting high is literally an urge for a higher vibration, a higher state of consciousness. It is an expansion of freedom, an expansion out of the small matrix into a higher matrix, into a higher dimension of consciousness.

And this is ultimately what indigo’s are seeking. You are seeking an expanded state of consciousness, an expanded state of being. You are seeking to get out of the small minded denser vibration world of the matrix in to the freedom, the liberation, the wider vision and consciousness you know you hold and that drugs can help you get.

So what you’re seeking through drugs is very positive. You’re seeking a way out from the madness, you’re seeking a way out from the density, you’re seeking a way out from the smallness, and you’re seeking a way in to highness, expansion, bigger vision, freedom, liberation.

For many people drugs are their first taste of these altered states.

The problem with drugs is two fold. First is that they are erratic. When you take a drug you never know which doors it will open. Sometimes it will give you a high and a moment of expanded consciousness. Sometimes it will give you a low, it will give you more of a bad trip.

This is because the drugs work on opening so many different parts of the brain, parts of the psyche that, depending on your mood, depending on so many factors of chemistry that we don’t understand, you never know what you’re going to get, and often times there are many side effects that are not healthy for you.

Secondly the drugs burn a lot of energy. When you take a drug you get high but it’s at a cost. It takes a lot of resources in side to get that high. So afterwards there’s a crash. You come down, and the reservoirs are burned, and there are many residual emotions that are not in balance.

So not only do you have a crash, but in certain ways you’ve thrown your system out of whack, out of balance. Which means when you take the drug the next time, the highs can be more erratic, the crash can be greater, the burn on your system is greater. And, to top it all off, so many of the drugs are addictive. You get caught not only in the urge for the high, but you get caught in the need for the drug and the is less each time.

What you’re looking for is right. You’re looking for an expanded state of consciousness, a high. There’s another way to get there. The high that you’re looking for, the state of consciousness that you’re looking for, must already exist within you if it can be opened up through a drug.

Think about that. The potential for an expansion of consciousness is there. You can taste it. You can get to it. It can be opened. The drug can open the door for a moment, but unfortunately it does damage in opening the door.

So the real work of an Indigo is to find where those doors are of consciousness within you, and to open them consciously, deliberately, and skillfully.

There are ways to do this. We call it inner work and we call it meditation. They are different and similar. Inner work is a two-fold process. It’s first understanding where these doors are. They sit in particular locations in the body, particularly locations in the brain. And you can feel this. If you are doing drugs, next time you are doing a drug, take note, where do you feel the high in your body?

These energy centers are opening. We say that every state of consciousness has a location in the body – you can feel where it sits. So next times you do a drug take note, where is the high? Where is the expanded feeling? Give it a location in the body. That is one of the doors.

Second, take note of the structure of energy at that location. You can use your hands to do this. Imagine putting your hands there and using your hands to model or shape the feeling. You will note that there’s something perhaps more open or expanded or altered or different in the structure of energy in that location. You have altered a door for a moment.

Well, imagine now you don’t need the drug. You’re going to begin to work with the energies in those locations. You’re going to work with those doors of consciousness. We will give in another article more detailed instruction on working with energy, but we can give two pieces now.

First, image that a doors is either open or closed. You can feel it – you’re high or you’re not high. You’re high or your low. Feel the structure of what the low is or what the normal is in your body, in your body, in your psyche. And then feel the structure of what the high is in your body, in your psyche.

Now consciously think about that feel it, be with it. See if you can open the door without the drug.

And that leads us to the second thing – meditation. Meditation is basically the conscious directly your energy internally to open doors of consciousness. Let me repeat it. In meditation you’re closing your eyes and turning your awareness inside. You’re feeling yourself. You’re taking note of what is going on. And what you note in the beginning, which is why most people don’t meditate, is there’s a lot of discomfort. These are the limits of our own nature. These are the limits of patterns, of funny energies, that are moving in us for whatever reason. But as you be with those things and look at those things they start quieting. And you begin to feel the deeper pulses of your life, the deeper qualities that are there.

You begin to feel the doors and what’s behind the doors. As the doors begin to open by just focusing your awareness on what wants to open within you, you begin to touch the immense potentials of consciousness.

Ultimately what you are seeking is an expanded state of being, an expanded state of consciousness that is your goal and your destiny and your birthright. Do it deliberately, do it consciously, do it maturely. Build it yourself. Earn it. The drugs give you a momentary glimpse and that’s useful. But now that you know it’s there, you need to build it deliberately that it becomes yours.

The drugs will burn you out. The side effects are not worth it. And the high is too erratic and too unstable.

Inner work, meditation will give you the ultimate high. We call it awakened consciousness. This is what your nature as an Indigo is really about. This is what you’re really seeking. This is your birthright and your destiny and what calls you. So use the high as a taste. Use the drug as a glimpse of a possibility, but now be wise in your way that you get the high.

And what you’ll find as you go into inner work and meditation is that the high of the drug, from where you’re standing now seems like a great expansion, but in fact, it was a very small high compared to the much greater high. That the big high, the ultimate high, the ultimate drug is consciousness. It’s so much greater.

When I was young I also experimented with drugs. Got the highs and got the lows. Having found when I was young, 18, inner work had begin, the doors of consciousness that opened the state of consciousness, the real high, the expansion, are so much greater than any drug can give me.

I’m much older now than eighteen. A couple of times I tried a drug again out of curiosity to see what it would do. And it was amazing – it dropped my consciousness. That actually the consciousness I live in is so much higher than where the drug can take me that the drug dropped me. It fogged me, it altered me. It evoked disturbed emotions and thoughts and this and that – just kind of riled up the basement of the unconsciousness. It didn’t give me anything great. It actually diminished me.

And that was a beautiful insight – that the consciousness I’ve attained through meditation and inner work is higher than where the drugs can take me. That I’m living as a constant in a state of high that is higher than any drug, and is more fulfilling and more satisfying, that brings me more love, more creativity, more authenticity, more freedom, more joy than ever.

So this is my message to indigo’s. Your experimentation with drugs, your rebellion against the system are good first steps. But that’s all they are is first steps. Take the next step. See why you’re really using them, see what you’re really looking for, and then build it. Open the doors of consciousness inside.